楽しんでます、なんとなく。

Okay, so. Recently, or well, today and these past two/three days I’ve been having fun~.

Two days ago my first year class, 1-C, had a sort of end-of-year meeting/hanging out thing. 19 of my 32 person class gathered up (the others had reasons for not coming like living far away, club activities, etc.)

With everyone we went to a cheap Italian restaurant (seriously, it was 878 yen for pasta, the drink bar (free refils of any drink you want), and a dessert, which is pretty much unheard of in Japan.)

After that we went to Round 1, a bowling/games/karaoke place. We were going to do one round of bowling and one hour of karaoke, but the student special had ended at 6 and we got there near 7, so instead we did karaoke for a few hours.

Because of having a lot of people we had to split up into two rooms, and the group I got into ended up in the “Love Room” even though we were all girls (because it was crowded that night). Basically, the “Love Room” has one of those tables with a panel on it, and you can do the notorious “push the button of the person you like” game, and there were all sorts of other games, too.

Before I explain the games, I’ll also point out that there were a lot of fun things in there like a stage and bongos and tambourines and maracas. So we all go hyper.

Then, the games. There’s one (Japanese?) game called “The King Game” where on the tables digital screen there was a roulette (everyone’s seat had a number) and the first spin would pick the “King”. After that, the King can say an order involving two people (or use the table’s roulette to pick a random preset one) and the table does the roulette again twice and the people it picks have to do the order. We always did the roulette for picking orders.

A few of the ways I ended up (I was 7):
“Numbers 7 and 6 have to hold hands until the end of this game.” (Was the very first order. Ahaha.)
“Numbers 7 and 8 have to have a staring contest, and whoever loses has to kiss the King.” (I lost, though for all of the kissing ones we did on the cheek.)
“Number 7 and 1 have to “kiss” with their noses for 10 seconds.” (This brought about the best line of the night, in my opinion: “But my nose is flat! We’ll end up actually kissing!”)

Then yesterday I got invited to karaoke with Victoria and her friends. That was fun as well…

And then today is Tokyo Disney Land! At the moment it is 4:10am. I have been up since 2:30am, since we’re leaving at 5 (going by car). My host dad is driving us, but the people actually going are me, Saki (host sister), and two of Saki’s friends. One of the friends likes the same group I like (Kis-My-Ft2~) and I think we’re probably going to be ranting to each other the whole time. Ahaha.

I’ll tell more about Tokyo Disney Land (with pictures!) as soon as I have time once I’m back.

Grade Report

Okay, so, I have my grades for the two terms I’ve been here. Ya~y. Then after that are the results for the mock college exam.

5 (Excellent), 4 (Superior), 3 (Average), 2 (Passable), 1 (Impassable)

Subject — 2nd Term Grade — 3rd Term Grade

Japanese — 2 — 2
World History B — 2 — 2
Biology I — 2 — 3
Mathematics I — 4 — 4
Mathematics A — 4 — 4
Physical Education — 4 — 5
Domestic Science — 3 — 5
English Reading — 5 — 5
English Grammar — 5 — 5
Oral English — 5 — 5
Intercultural Studies — 5 — 5
Music — 4 — 4

Let it be noted that for the “Oral English” I did the reverse of the Japanese kids, learning the Japanese for the various units they did. Also, boo-yah to anyone who thought my Japanese ability wasn’t enough to participate in normal classes here.  As far as I know, I don’t have the lowest grade in the class for anything (except maybe Japanese, though that’s actually iffy.)

At the bottom there’s a note from my homeroom teacher:

“You’ve taken all of the classes and tests except for Bible along with your Japanese classmates. You have tried everything ambitiously. Please continue using all the effort you are now. You already understand enough Japanese, but it would be even better if you worked on learning how to read faster. Please stay well throughout spring vacation and prepare for the new term.”

Ya~y…

And, I also got the results to the national mock entrance exam thing. So I’m also going to put up those results, since, y’know, I’m shameless when it comes to showing off my grades? Something like that.

One thing I will point out, this was the elective test, so they didn’t have to take it, and it was on a Saturday when there wasn’t supposed to be school… Which means that pretty much all the people who took it were the smart ones.

You were also able to choose three colleges/universities and the major that you  might want to go to, and it would give you your ranking out of the people who took the test who put the same colleges and majors for those colleges.

In the math portion you were able to choose between Math I and Math I/A. I picked Math I, since math A had to do with proofs and stuff, and… I’m no good with that.

First the basic grades, broken down by subject. PCA = Performance Compared to Average, CCL = Chinese Classical Literature. Anything after a –> is the total for the subject.

Scores

Subject [Points Possible] — Points — PCA (National * School) — Average Score (National * School) — Rank (National * School)

English (Written) [200] — 198 — 75.0 * 69.6 — 105.9 * 145.7 — 5/40,759 * 1/40
English (Listening) [50] — 50 — 72.0 * 65.0 — 33.3 * 42.2 — 1/38,610 * 1/39
–> English (Total) [250] — 248 — 75.4 * 69.3 — 140.4 * 189.3 — 4/38,557 * 1/39
Japanese (Modern) [100] — 33 — 40.5 * 34.9 — 51.3 * 54.3 — 32,841/40,722 * 39/40
Japanese (Modern/Classics) [150] — 50 — 42.3 * 37.2 — 69.0 * 74.0 — 30,488/40,107 * 37/40
–> Japanese (Modern/Classics/CCL) [200] — 74 — 45.8 * 41.5 — 87.0 * 95.1 — 24,535/38,068 * 32/40
Math I [100] — 34 — 56.0 * N/A — 22.7 * 34.7 — 1,761/8,133 * 3/6

Overall
( ~##~ = Average PCA)

English-Japanese-Math + English Listening [600] — 340 — 59.8 * 53.9 — 252.2 * 314.4 — 6,612/38,058 * 13/39
English-Japanese-Math — N/A — 58.9 * N/A — ~50.0 * 55.9~ — 6,342/40,192 * 11/40
English-Japanese — N/A — 60.4 * N/A — ~49.9 * 56.9~ — 5,435/40,610 * 11/40
English-Math — N/A — 65.5 * N/A — ~50.1 * 57.5~ — 2,752/40,305 * 6/40

I would like to point out that I am not last in anything. Including the Japanese. Look at the school ranks for the Japanese… My lowest is 39/40, that means there is still someone in my school who got a lower grade than me in Japanese even though I’m the foreinger. Yes.

Then there’s the PCA (which is what they use in the entrance exams to choose who gets accepted/etc.) for the mixes of the subjects. Different colleges use a different mix of the subjects (some only use English and Japanese, some only use English and Math, etc. It would depend on which major of the college you’d be going into, too.)

Subjects — PCA

English-Japanese-Math — 59.1
English-Japaense — 60.6
English-Math — 65.7

Score Breakdown

Section — Score/Points Possible — Average (National/School)

English (Written)
Pronunciation+Emphasis — 17/19 — 5.6/9.7
Grammar+Conversation+Order — 46/46 — 25.0/35.0
Reading Comprehension (Grasping Context) — 38/38 — 16.1/23.3
Reading Comprehension (Understanding Information) — 30/30 — 22.0/26.1
Reading Comprehension (Conversation) — 24/24 — 16.0/19.8
Reading Comprehension (Story) — 43/43 — 21.3/32.8

English (Listening)
Grasping Conversation Context — 12/12 — 8.5/10.3
Conversation Completion — 14/14 — 9.0/11.8
Grasping Conversation Context 2 — 12/12 — 9.6/10.7
Grasping Context of Short Piece — 12/12 — 6.0/9.4

Japanese
Modern (Critique) — 14/50 — 29.5/31.0
Modern (Novel) — 19/50 — 22.3/23.3
Ancient (Story) — 17/50 — 17.7/19.7
CCL (Ideology) — 24/50 –17.5/21.1

Math I
Equations and Inequalities — 16/20 — 7.9/13.7
Quadratic Functions — 12/25 — 5.5/7.7
Shapes and Length Calculation — 0/30 — 2.9/5.3
Equations and Calculation — 6/25 — 6.3/8.0

Desired Colleges

College (Major) — Rank/Total (within major) — PCA /Average PCA

Nihon Daigaku (Literature and Science – Literature) — 29/763 — 60.6/47.7
Aoyama Gakuin (Education) — 36/322 — 60.6/52.0
Waseda Daigaku (Education – Literature) — 45/162 — 60.6/54.4

Breakdown of People

Note: I’m in the 60.0 range. Sorry for the small font.

Some things I would like to point out… Look at the score for the CCL. I’m above the average score both nationally and in my school. My excuse for the missed question on English is that the pronunciation/intonation they teach in the Japanese schools and put on the tests is different than what I’ve grown up speaking. I have no excuse for the math (even though I still did better than most people, it sort of sucked…)

Random notes not involved with grades:

• I got my hair cut.
• Disney Land was moved to April 3rd.
• My DS touch screen doesn’t work at all anymore. Gah.
• Japanese second hand stores = BEST THING EVER. 3 GBA games for 1050 yen (~$10.71)
• I have to memorize the periodic table in Japanese before spring break ends… DOOM.

New Host

Okay, so, I’ve moved safely to my new hosts, the Hoshino’s.

My new host mom and dad (Yayoi and Kouji… Though just “okaasan” and “otousan”, haha) are both 47, my host sister who’s at Kyoai is Saki, a used-to-be second year student in the English course. Then there’s a younger brother, Yoshitaka (Yoshi), who’s 15 and likes games and such. Then there’s an older sister who doesn’t live at home named Ami, who’s 20. They’re all really nice.

We already have plans to go to Disney Land over spring break (next week on the 25th).

The sort of down-side? They live 40 minutes away from Maebashi station by BIKE. I have a feeling I’m going to get a LOT skinnier. Ahaha.

I’ll post pictures of my new room as soon as I get stuff unpacked.

Oh, and I can get free haircuts now, since the host mom’s sister is a hair stylist. My hair really does grow too fast. Remember the pictures of it? It’s already grown out about two inches and is down to my shoulders. And my bangs are down to my nose… Why does it grow so fast?!

Yea~h…

守りたい この笑顔を

Just a short little update on how I am, I guess?

I’ve gotten some more finals back, as well as the results for the optional test that was taken by students all over Japan and my rankings in that. I don’t have them here to look at at the moment, so when I do I’ll type the details of that.

I’ve arranged it so that I go to club only on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday (Saturday if there is school then), since with going every day I didn’t have time to do anything, and, y’know… Since I don’t have much time left I want to be able to do things.

Though it may have backfired on me, since I don’t really have friends to hang out with normally (other than Victoria).

I don’t think I’ve been sleeping well lately. Don’t know why, but I’m always tired.

Next week on Tuesday and Wednesday we don’t have school, and then Thursday is the year end ceremony before spring break. I switch to my new host on that day.

Still don’t know anything about them other than their last name (Hoshino) and that they live in Maebashi. I sort of wish Murakami would tell me more about them before I move. It was the same with the family I’m with now.

Started packing for that today. And I feel sort of crappy, because even though I’m just packing to move host families it feels like I’m packing to leave already.

2 months and 1 week.
9 weeks and 5 days.
68 days.

I want more time.

Edit: I made a ticker for counting down. I wonder if anybody will guess the meaning behind the design. Ha.

喜びも痛みも

(Written March 8th)

Yesterday I went to Keyaki with Victoria and one of her classmates who I know from the dorms, Azusa. It turned out that for the most part she wanted to have a chance to speak English, so both Victoria and I were sort of miffed, though it was really fun anyway.

We ate lunch, ate at a desert place, went and took purikura, played a game in the game center, and then we split up for an hour so we could all go do what we want (since it seemed like our tastes didn’t match very well) and Victoria followed me to play the same game again for that whole time.

One meeting up again we went to the book shop, where we Azusa got our advice about which book she should get to study English, and what she should do to learn English that people would use in normal conversation instead of the stuff they learn in their English classes (one of the words in their ‘useful words’ books is fiscal. How useful is that for a high school student?) So me and Victoria brought her over to the actual English books section, and now she’s going to read Twilight. Oops.

Next we went and clothes shopped for a bit, and I got a new shirt and jeans. The jeans were on sale, so they weren’t around $100 like they normally are (and that’s for cheap jeans.)

After that Azusa had to go home because of the dorm’s curfew (6pm), but Victoria and I stayed around. We were walking around the halls, and at one of the palm reading booths there was a sale, and I ended up doing it.

It was all right to a freakish level, and Victoria was sitting next to me and like kept laughing through the whole thing and just nodding her head. Anyway, I wrote it down in my cell phone and sent an e-mail to myself later (in Japanese) but I’ll sort of translate it and say what the guy said?

I have strong instinct (the example was “Like if when you get a boyfriend or husband, if they cheat you would know right away.”)
Personality is generally calm, though can get really flustered.
When doing something in a group, is the sort of person who can’t say what they want to do and just follows along with everyone else.
Can’t express their thoughts or feelings (especially feelings) well.
Best profession to get would be a teacher.
Is good at things like being a volunteer and helping other people, or in the case of a teacher teaching people things.
Will live a relatively long life, and will be able to keep a job through all of it.
Is popular, but doesn’t realize it myself.
Has good luck with money, and will have good money later in life.
Will have my efforts recognized by others around now (exchange?), around 18~19, and early to mid 20s.
Will have chances for love 2 (3) times:
One around now (“Do you have a person you like..?” “Um…” Ahaha.)
The last two are ones you could may and end up happy, although the second one is better.
Be careful of divorce and other such things, especially around the age of 35.
And it would be best to try and accept the opinions of those around you instead of just pushing yours on them, or nodding and saying you understand but not putting it to use.

Yeah…

(Written March 9th)

Today my joints were hurting really bad. Dkal;sdjkf. (<– note: this is called a “key smash”. It can represent any extreme emotion. In this case, it is in the “I hated that so much I don’t even have words to explain it, so let me just smash my keys.” sort of way.)

I’ve gotten back some of my tests from the finals. I don’t have the papers right here with me, so this is approximate, but… yeah.

World History - 34 points
Biology - 39 points
English Grammar - 100 points (perfect score)
Math 1 - 69 points (class average: 56ish)
Ancient Japanese - 42 points

I should’ve gotten better on the World History, but I messed up a lot of the kanji in the Chinese history section and lost a lot of points for that. Askdlf;jalsdkjf. (<– translation: “Why was I so stupid. I should’ve payed more attention to those kanji, though most of the Japanese kids messed them up, too, since they’re not ones actually used in Japanese and only in Chinese.”)

May 20th

Apparently that’s the day I’m supposed to go back.

What happened to saying I’ll be able to be here for 10 months since the very beginning? I got here on August 28th. And, tell me if my counting is wrong, that would make it around June 28th.

Yeah, exactly.

As far as I’m concerned, May 20th is not even close to June 28th.

In fact, I won’t have even been here for 9 months.

But, yes, thanks to this little tidbit of information I got today I cried in front of all of my classmates. Hmmm…

Really, I appreciate it.

The Little Things

Okay, I admit right away… The title has no particular meaning. I just randomly thought it up and it was all “I want to make a post with the title The Little Things!” and yet I had nothing to match with the subject, and so here it is! Ahaha~… Um. Okay. One small thing.

On the radio in Maebashi there is one station that plays things from Lazer 105.9 (Kansas thing) around 4~5 days late! How I know? There was one Thursday, and on the station it was playing the last weeks “Rick D’s weekly top 40″ from the past Sunday! That happened a looooong time ago, but I just remembered about it today. I don’t even know how or why, I just… remembered it?

… Yea~h.

Okay, today I went with Victoria to a ‘live’. And if you guys are like someone (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE) who didn’t know what that means, it is like a small concert with several bands usually near the same genre that occurs at a live house/cafe/etc. An, in Japan, runs for between 0 yen to 2000 yen ($0 ~ $22) for a ticket and drinks.

The reason we went was because the band that I had seen outside Takasaki, LAUGH, was playing there. All of the other bands ended up being awesome too~, though I’ll explain that in a bit.

So, I got on the 11:31 train from Gunma-Fujioka station and rode the around-15-minutes up to Takasaki. Because I still had a while until I had to meet Victoria at Shinmaebashi at 12:30ish (10 minutes by train) I ‘explored’ around Takasaki station a bit. Of course, I’ve been there so many times now it isn’t really exploring any more rather than wandering and looking around.

First off I went up to the 5th (top) floor of the shopping area and went to the book shop to check if the Myojo and Popolo (Johnny’s Entertainment magazines) for April were out yet. They were, so I bought them (590 yen and 550 yen respectively). Someday I’ll have to take a picture of all the JE magazines and goods I bought, though I think I would be yelled at/laughed at by many people for buying… so much? Goods not included, there are 5 magazines that come out each month. I have bought all of them since coming here…? But I read all of them. So it’s not an exact waste of money? (Take that, plus all of the CDs, the DVD, the concert goods I’ve bought and… Ahaha… Someday I’ll calculate how much money I’ve spent on them.)

Anyway, after that I walked across the hall to a small shop with random ‘accessory’ things. I had been wanting a new wallet for a while (the one I have is small and borrowed from my host family, so I wanted my own), so I looked at the wallets for a bit before choosing one that the flap has a blue and black checkerboard pattern. It was 1995 yen ($20.40), which is actually cheap for those here.

Then I headed back downstairs (after wandering for a bit more) and caught my train. (12:26 train for Minakami, for those that care). Reached Shinmae at 12:36, and then began the 1.5 mile walk to Maebashi Haiji (the cafe where the live was).

Got there and the LAUGH guys (Youhei and Takayuki~) were outside practicing. Didn’t say anything then, though went to the door and bought tickets and headed in, picking a small two person table near the back.

Insert smalltalk here.

Then (dun dun dun) Youhei and Takayuki came over and thanked me for bothering to come out to see them again, I introduced Victoria, they asked if my hair was my real hair color/texture (“Yeah, it is…” “Kawaii deshou?!” (<- Victoria, “Cute, isn’t it?!”) “Aah, sou ka… Maa, boku no ha tennen paama desu yo. Ahaha.” (<- Takayuki, “Oh, really… Well, my hair is a natural perm. Ahaha”) and then they went off.

Eventually the live started (about 15 minutes late -cough-) with the first of the 5 people/groups that were going to play: a girl who normally plays in a small band called Junsui Shitate, Satou Mai (純粋仕立て、さとう麻衣). She played the piano and sang… she was really good.

Next were a group of people called studio pandarine. pandarine. The members of the band are Suto Miyuki, Abe Haruka, Takagi Yoshihiro, Negishi Yoshitaka, and Captain Panda. There was a guy in a huge panda suit. Sure, their music was good. But the PANDA.

Then there was a girl called Keyko Cookie (key-ko cookie, きぃこ☆クッキー). She had a very… unique voice. Like ‘the typical Japanese girl singing voice’ (as dubbed by Victoria) but a little different. She also happened to look like a younger version of one of the teachers at school (and act like her and sound like her, so it was a bit creepy). The time she was singing was really fun.

And then it was LAUGH’s turn!!! Ya~y! I’ll list the songs they played, though they will have no meaning to anyone but me because I can’t even direct you to things online because they aren’t on a CD yet. Anyway, first they played Aiai Gasa, then You and Me, and then Kuchizusamu Melody, and then Hanabi, and finally Sekai ni Hitori no Kimi. There were also funny talks inbetween the songs. (Youhei: -says something stupid- Takayuki: -stands there for a while, randomly playing the guitar- Youhei: … You’re not going to tsukkomi me? Takayuki: -plays the guitar for a bit more before replying, still playing- I can’t while I’m doing this.)

Takayuki kept looking like he was having a lot of fun through the whole thing, doing weird half-dances and such. And Victoria noticed that Youhei kept whichever hand he wasn’t holding the mic in in a position that reminded me of Trent’s Raptor Walk (PT thing?), basically bent up close to his body with the hand turned down and sort of out…? Just think of raptor hands. You’ll get it.

Last was a group called Raiji&Chips. They were awesome, and sang a few American songs. The lead singer kept making scrunchy faces while he was singing (“It was like he was in pain. IT WAS AWESOME.” to quote Victoria.)

BUT (dun dun dun~) before the Raiji&Chips guys, the two LAUGH guys came over again to thank us (“They totally just wanted to talk to you.” once again, Victoria.) for coming again and were all “We were nervous, so it wasn’t very good.” (“No, it was really good.” (<- me) “-are all “Oh, okay…” but smiley-” (<- the LAUGH guys)) and yea~h. It was good.

After it all ended me and Victoria left, stopped at a Fressay (freh-say, Japanese chain supermarket) and grabbed dango and a melon pan (pan = bread… pan is just so much easier to say. Ahaha.) and then stopped at the 7-11 a few blocks after that for us both to take a bathroom break and for Victoria to get a hot drink.

Then we reached Shinmae and waited for our trains for a bit and then split up and went home~…

BUT (I like big italicized letters?) I was planning on eating dinner out, so I purposefully missed one train and ‘explored’ around Takasaki a bit more. First going to the two bookshops (1 is regular books, 2nd is manga/stationary) on the opposite side of the station as the 5th floor one and looking around without the intention of buying anything. After a bit of that I crossed the hallway and headed to the McDonalds where I ate a cheeseburger, a medium fries and a Coca Cola.

After eating I still had a while, so I sat there for a bit looking at the magazines I’d bought earlier. Then I headed back to the actual train station part of the station and beeped my Suica (long term train ticket?) to get through, bought a Snickers at the konbini (convenience store) inside that area, and headed out towards Platform 3 (it’s hard enough to find it’s like the “platform 9 3/4″ from Harry Potter. Ha.) before getting on my train (7:45 for Komagawa) and going back home~.

And that was my day today.

Tomorrow I’m going to sit around, clean, and study for the finals.

Then Monday is karaoke with Victoria.

Random note: Ricardo came back from Mexico today. He’d gone back for college entrance exams (he wants to become a brain surgeon. -random fact-) around two weeks ago and he’s finally come back~… Though we’ve gotten so used to not having him here that it might be weird having him back. Oh well.

Another random, but at the start of the new school year at least one, possibly two new exchange students will be coming. One girl from Vietnam (certain) and a Thai kid (something I heard somewhere that I can’t remember)?

Hm.

I want to get this post to 1500 words, so this is just another random sentence to add onto the end to get to that. So close. With me typing this sentence there are going to be exactly one thousand and five hundred words!

RANDOM (POSSIBLY IMPORTANT?) NOTE: I bought a headset with a mic on it a few days ago. The mic on my computer is broken, which is why I haven’t made any video blogs since that first one, but now I can make them again! So expect one to be coming soon? My hair will probably be undone and all blah because I haven’t done it to go out, and I’ll probably be in my PJs… But oh well. Video blog, yay?

The Title-less Post

Okay. So, last time I updated everything was pretty bad off in my eyes. Now that it’s gotten for the most part better, I believe that must have been my mid-year slump. Especially since Victoria was experiencing almost exactly the same thing at the same time.

The weekend after that I went out with two girls from Victoria’s class, and that was fun. I bought an outfit, and we just hung around a lot in Takasaki.

And then the week after that was… (Insert “dun dun dun” soundaffect here) Valentines Day! I actually made chocolate. And everyone said it was delicious. So HA.

Track practice has been going well. I had actually gotten a hairline fracture in the outside of the bone near my ankle on one leg, though I just wrapped it and didn’t actually run for a while and now it’s completely better. It hurt really badly before if I even walked, but now I can run or press on the area near it and it feels completely fine. Ya~y.

Now we’re off club on break because finals tests are coming up again. And yes, once again I will be taking all of them (except Religion. Worked my way out of that one a while ago…) Yesterday I went and “hung out” with Victoria around Maebashi, and we happened to meet up with Ryouhei and one of his classmates and talked with them in the Maebashi station McDonalds for a while. Then today Victoria and I went to Keyaki Walk (mall about 10 minutes walk from Maebashi station) where I bought an umbrella (I lost one of my host family’s on a train…) and we took purikura~ (one of the pictures will be up on my Japanese blog, which I will metion in a bit. For the others, feel free to e-mail and ask?)

This past Sunday I went and hung out with Yuki, a 3rd year from school, and once she had gone home I was heading back towards Takasaki station… Well, near one entrance of Takasaki there are usually bands of some sort playing, and today there happened to be one there that I liked, so I stopped and listened… For 2 hours. And then bought their CD (which I got signed!)

Their name is LAUGH, and they aparently play there every Saturday from 3pm. I plan on going on any time I don’t have club.  Both of them (Youhei and Takayuki) are funny and awesome singers (+accoustic guitar for Takayuki). I sent in a message on their small website, and actually got a reply, so now I mail back and forth with Youhei a bit. It’s in a friendly, polite, “I’m your fan.” way, just to make it clear. Just… It’s cool. I mail with someone in a group. Ha.

Anyway, I was looking at two of their blogs, at a Japanese blog site called yaplog, so I decided to make one. And therefore, I now have a Japanese blog. This is it. You can’t read it (most likely), but I thought I might as well put it out there.

Um… Yeah. Basically updated just to show that I’m alive and not quite as lonely as I was before?

知ってください、聞いてください、

Okay, so this post is going to be pretty… Depressing, I guess? Feel free to skip if you’d like, or read it and hope it doesn’t spread to you. これがちょっと落ち込んでいる気持ちで書いているから、読まなくてもいいけど、ちゃんと日本語も書いてあります。

Anyway. So, Max is gone. 3rd years have left the school. My problem? I have no friends. All of the people I used to hang out with between classes were 3rd year students, but they have the whole month of February off of school until their graduation ceremony. The people I went to school with in the morning were all 3rd years, I spend that hour every morning “alone”. The train is crowded, but… Yeah.

“What about Victoria?” you may ask. She’s doing perfectly fine. She now has friends in her class, who she hangs out with all the time. She’s offered for me to join them, I’ve tried, but it’s awkward because I’m not really friends with them, so it’s like being a fourth, awkward wheel on a tricycle. She walks to chapel with them, she talks to them between classes, she eats lunch with them, and she goes home with them more often than not. So, the results of that: 1. I walk to chapel alone. 2. I sort of float between the classroom and hallway for the 10 minutes between each class. 3. I spend the 45 minute lunch period alone. 4. I have track practice, so that can’t be helped, and I’m with people then, but… y’know?

Or, well, I’m with people until we get to Shinmaebashi station. Then all of the other track people have gotten off, and I still have to go all the way to Takasaki and then have a 20~30 minute long layover.

It feels like I have no friends. I don’t really fit with anyone in my class, or anybody else in the other Eishin (my course) classes. Victoria has her classmates, Ricardo is with the guys. The guy I like got a girlfriend. 3rd years are gone. I sort of dread getting up and going to school in the morning. Every day just sort of feels empty.

Track practice is fun. Whether that’s because I have people I talk to somewhat there or that my brain is too occupied with doing the exercises to think about everything else, I don’t know.

Every day I wake up at 5. Chat with maybe the two closest friends I have until 6, my favorite hour of the whole day, then I go down to eat breakfast, then get ready, leave home and ride to catch the train. Hour of train time, and then school. Track starts at 4. Do that, go home, eat, bathe, sleep at 10~10:30. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I don’t want to go home, but I don’t want to stay here. I find myself thinking, ‘What if I could change schools…?‘. Though just changing courses might help. If I don’t want to stay here, but I don’t want to go home, where the hell am I supposed to go and what the hell am I supposed to do? Sure, I’m smart, book smart, not smart in the way to deal with stupid complicated emotions like this.

… It felt good typing that all out. Now I get to do it again in Japanese, yay.

マックスはもういない。３年生もいない。私の問題?　友達がいない。前まで付き合ってくれた人たちはみんなは３年生だった。朝、登校のとき一緒にいた人たちも３年生だった。３年生がいなくなったからその朝の一時間ぐらいは一人で過ごす。

ヴィクトリアは?　元気だよ。クラスメイトと仲良くできて、あの子達といつも一緒にいる。「一緒に私たちと来て♪」っていつもいうけど、ヴィクトリアのクラスメイトは良くわからないし、ベタベタな友達って感じになってしまう。あの子達と一緒に礼拝に行って、授業の間を一緒に過ごして、一緒にお昼を食べて、一緒に帰ることも多い。じゃあ、私はどうなる？①ひとりで礼拝に行く　②授業の間はひとりで当てもなく戸惑って教室を出入りする　③ひとりで食べて、昼休みだいたいひとりにいる。　④私、陸上部だからいつも違うけど、まぁ…

部活後の帰りは楽しいけど、それは新前橋まで。その後他の部員はみんなもう降りたから、ひとりで高崎まで行き、２０～３０分の乗り換え時間があって、その後またひとりで電車に乗って帰る。

本当に友達がいないらしくて、毎日がダラダラな感じになってきちゃった。クラスメイトと気が合わなさそうで、英進のみんなは同じ感じ。ヴィクトリアにはクラスメイトがいる。リカルドもそう。３年生がいなくなった。もう毎朝起きて学校に行くのはイヤになった。

陸上の練習は結構楽しいけど、それは一緒にいられる人がいるためか、練習に集中できて他のものを考える余裕がないためか、よくわからない。

毎日５時に起きて、一番友達らしい人とチャットする。６時に朝ごはんを食べて、着替えて、自転車に出る。１時間ぐらい電車に乗ってから、学校。部活。その後はまた電車。帰宅して、夕飯食べて、風呂入って、10時～10時30分に寝る。毎日の繰り返し。

アメリカに帰りたくないけど、ここにはいたくない。「学校を変えられたらどうなるかな」って思ったこともあった。でも学校までじゃなくて、コースを変えてもどうかな～って、それも思う。ここにいたくないけど、帰りたくないっていう場合にはどうすればいいんですか～?　こんな複雑な感情を耐えられないよ。

これを書き出すとちょっとほっとするけど…

かけがえのないDays

Okay. This post… is going to be a monster. Seriously. First I’m going to talk about my club activities, and then… Well, for what comes after that it’s going to take a bit of explanation. I know I’ve said a lot of bad things about Japan on here, but that’s just because they’re the things that it’s easiest to think up. So I’ve pulled together my intelligence and am going to list a ton of things I really love about it here. But first, club.

~* About Club *~

So, around a month ago (I can’t believe it’s already been that long. Time needs to stop moving so fast.) I joined the 陸上競技部 (Track and Field club). A while ago I quit archery because the glove thing (kaki) had a hard part and it was rubbing the second knuckle on my thumb so hard that it bled… Yeah.

Anyway, track. These Japanese kids are really good. Though I know it’s not just some fluke. There’s practice every day on the days we have school. And it always ends at the same time, whether it’s a half day or a full day of school. Even more? It’s not even really track season. All of the sports here practice all year round, whether there’s competitions or not.

I think I may have worded that like it’s a bad thing, but it’s really not. Then there’s the fact that I’ve already made better friends in the club than I have in all of my time here in my class. The other first years, Yumi, Yukari, Chome (a nickname…), Sakurako (my class), and Kiyo(mi) are all really nice. I spend the most time with them, so we’ve gotten close really fast. All of the guys are nice, too. I knew Masaki before joining, buchou (team captain) is hilarious, Shinji is really nice (and he used to do tennis, so I can talk tennis with him. xD), there’s a guy who’s name I don’t remember, but he’s hilarious too, and Minegishi-senpai and Azami-senpai are… Well, everyone’s really nice.

Even though the practices are always really hard, it’s always fun. Especially on Saturdays (or other half days) when we all eat lunch and then play around outside before practice starts. This past Saturday all of the guys plus me (and then later Kiyo) were playing with a soccer ball and saw how many continuous headers we could do. Guy-who’s-name-I-don’t-remember was completely rediculous with the ways he’d hit it, and it was just really fun.

A few weekends ago (my second weekend on the team?) there was an 駅伝 (ekiden), which is like a relay marathon. I didn’t get to participate, but everyone had to come to cheer anyway. It was really awesome. We placed badly, though that didn’t make it any less fun. It doesn’t count towards the Kanto competition anyway.

This past Friday it was raining, and on Saturday the ground was still too wet, so we had indoor practice. Friday was 筋トレ (kintore, muscle training). So, around two and a half hours of doing sets of sit ups (50), haikin (back muscles? 50), sokkin (the muscles on your side. 20 each side), push ups (girls 20, boys 30), and what I like to call “the turtle who can’t get up” (30). Five sets of that and we did sets of 30, 20, and 10 seconds of random things (push ups, leg pushes, kicking) on ‘max power’, which meant do it as fast as possible.

On Saturday we did stairs. There are 4 floors in Kyoai. We were running the bell tower stairs. The bell tower is square, so there’s around 7 or 8 steps before you have to change directions. On top of it? We had to skip every other step. Three sets of going up and down those 8 times. The coach (Tanaka-sensei) had me rest the second set (I had tripped and banged my knee up pretty bad during the first one) but after that I jumped in again.

Oh, and the thing we end every practice with? Walking on our hands. Why? I don’t know. But it’s fun watching, and I’m getting closer to being able to do it.

~* All The Good Things *~

Okay, some of these are going to seem really weird. Some of them are going to be obvious. And others… Well, you’ll see.

* Everyone’s really nice. My classmates are nice and repsect personal space and always seem to be doing something interesting. Just being together with everyone is fun. Although I’ve asked if I can switch to a different course when we become 2nd years, it’s only because the huge amount of English classes…

* FOOD. <3 I love the food here. Especially curry. AND MELON SODA. And omurice. And yakiniku. And chahan. And the bento meatballs… It’ll suck going back and not having most of it. Even if there’s something like it, it won’t be the same.

* The teachers. All of the teachers are nice and funny and class is fun. I especially like Iwasaki-sensei (Math I) and Hirose-sensei (World History). It’s also really easy to learn the way they teach here. I love being able to just sit and listen and take notes instead of getting up and doing things.

* TV. There’s only 8 channels that every TV has. But there’s always something good on. As compared to America’s 500+ channels with nothing on.Waratte Ii Tomo and the various quiz shows are really fun to watch.

* Music. And I don’t just meen Johnny’s. I like all sorts of other groups here like flumpool and AKB48 and Hamasaki Ayumi and Porno Grafitti (yes, that’s actually the band’s name) and Kobukuro and Perfume and Orange Range and One OK Rock…

* Books and manga. They’re cheap and theres a lot of really good ones.

* School in general. It’s clean and nice and I look forward to going every day. My friends are there, and I have a lot of fun. It’s going to be sort of lonely now that the 3rd years are gone (the people I went to school with every day were all 3rd years) and Max is gone, but it’ll still be awesome every day.

And the thing I like most of all…

* My hosts, the Iwasakis. They deal with me being forgetful and eating a lot and just in general being me,  and even after the grandfather of the family died due to cancer were still willing to keep me instead of having me move to my next host family. They also took me in earlier than they had been planned to. Even though I’ve asked and told the host mom about it before, and said she doesn’t have to bother making different things just because I’m picky and that I’ll try anything she still makes sure to make things that I like. The host dad is nice and funny. Shiho is always nice and is fun to talk to. Ryouma, even though I hardly ever see him, is also really nice in a quiet way. Like when he brought me back an omiyage when he and his girlfriend went to Disney Land or quietly going to another room to watch TV if I happen to be watching something and he wants to watch something else… I’ve only been here 4 months, but they’re like a real family.

There are so many other things that I just can’t put into words, but I love it in Japan. If I could I would stay here for the rest of my life. And even though I’m going back either late June, or mid-July after summer vacation starts here. There’s a school event I really want to participate in on the last day before that, and then the Japanese Language Proficiency Test that I want to take in early July (aiming for the level 1!).

But I’m going to start applying for another foreign exchange as soon as I get back. Rotary, AFS, ASSE, YFU… I’m going to go for it all. I’d want to go back to Japan again as my first choice, but if I get another country I’d still go. Just another good experience to add to my life.

~* And A Song *~

I love this song to death. It makes me cry every time I listen to it, seriously. The translation is on my LiveJournal account. (Or, well, it will be. That’s what I’m doing after this.) The title of this post is from the song.

This is the song.